Flat Creek Inn

Swipe Right: Jackson Hole Animal Dating Profiles

Love is in the air! Or maybe that’s just the scent of an elk herd passing through. Either way, if Jackson Hole’s wild residents were looking for love online, their dating profiles would be… well, interesting. To celebrate Valentine’s Day, we did some investigative work to bring you the most eligible animal bachelors and bachelorettes of the Tetons. Who would you swipe right on?

Gray Wolf

  • People usually describe me with words like “mysterious” and “majestic.” Also, “a serious threat to livestock.”
  • Favorite song: “Hungry Like the Wolf” by Duran Duran
  • Alpha male

Elk

  • I don’t play guitar, but I do bugle
  • Extroverted. When you’re with me, you’re with my 400 closest friends.
  • Once fought another guy over a girl. She left with someone else. I’m still not over it. 

Grizzly Bear 

  • Loves: Long walks in the woods, unguarded coolers
  • Looking for someone chill. No drama. No loud noises. Bonus points if you can sleep for six months straight.
  • Will NOT be texting back between November and April

Skunk 

  • Favorite song: “Toxic” by Britney Spears
  • Always dressed in classic black and white
  • Swipe left if you don't respect boundaries

Great Horned Owl 

  • Silent, brooding type
  • Will stare deep into your soul, then turn my head 270° just for fun
  • I’m a real hoot (I’ll show myself out now)

Bison

  • Favorite song: “Don’t Stand Too Close to Me” by The Police
  • 2,000 lbs of pure chill, unless provoked
  • I don’t do selfies

Not seeing anything here worth swiping right on? Flat Creek Inn is the perfect Valentine’s Day getaway for you and the human you matched with to get out and enjoy the great outdoors. 

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Ryan Kunz is a copywriter and freelance writer who writes on a variety of topics, including media, the outdoors, and whatever else strikes his fancy. Weirdly enough, this is not the first time he's written animal dating profiles.

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